Jumper by Hikaru
by Magpieart
Summary: "I love Haruhi, but... they do too. No one cares for me anymore..." Songfic using "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind. Not good at summaries... Sort of Hikaharu


_Special thanks to RockerGirl0709 for helping me... Thank you~! I joined to know how I'm doing at writing... Please comment and tell me!_

-Hikaru's POV-

I looked out the great, elegant window in Music Room 3 and sighed, resting my head in my hands. Tamaki-senpai and even my own brother, Kaoru, were outside below me with Haruhi, laughing. Tamaki seemed to be trying to get Haruhi to do something stupid; like he did with everyone. Meanwhile, Kaoru was trying to pull Haruhi away and talk to her, but Tamaki kept complaining and bringing her back.

I never got him. Always unreasonable. Always getting what he wants. Ever since he met her, Tamaki had been so protective over Haruhi, calling her his "daughter." Thankfully, Tamaki was too stupid to realize that he really loved Haruhi.

I thought back a little while. Kaoru ha confronted me about him liking Haruhi, and how I was being so selfish wanting to share her with him. Okay, that sentence doesn't make a lot of sense, but threesomes don't usually turn out that well.

I clenched my teeth and glared at them both. _It's not fair!_ I thought. _How come _they_get to have all that fun with her? I love her too! And Milord doesn't even know what love _is!

I stood up and stomped over to the door. I called to Kyoya in a furry, "I'm leaving club early. I don't feel well," I saw Kyoya raise his eyebrows out of the corner of my eye before I slammed the door as hard as I could.

I walked home alone, hands shoved tightly into my pockets. I never called a limo; I wanted some time alone to go over my thoughts. I pulled up my collar, realizing how cold it was. The forecast hadn't said anything about rain, but they were wrong before.

I sighed sadly. This entire day had worn me out, both physically and emotionally. I guess thinking too much actually did hurt your brain.

And then my mind wondered back to Kaoru. Kaoru. My sweet younger twin brother whom I loved more than anything…

It was bad enough that Milord and I both had feelings for Haruhi, but now that my _own brother_admitted he loved her, too… I was so confused I wanted to sceam. What could I do? I can't control how I feel! I can't _make_ myself _not love Haruhi_! Though in my heart, I desperately wished I could. I wanted my brother to be happy, I wanted Haruhi to be happy, I wished that I could be happy…

But it never works out like that. Ever.

"ARHH!" I yelled, throwing me head into the air. " It isn't fair!" anger rushed through my system, infecting my entire body like a horrible disease. I wanted to scream more. Just let my life spill out of my lips and then everything would be okay.

_**The angry boy a bit too insane**_

_**Icing over a secret plain**_

_**You know you don't belong**_

_**You're the first to fight, you're way too loud**_

_**You're the flash of light on the burial shroud **_

_**I know something's wrong…**_

When I returned home, it had started drizzling, and I was soaked. Shaking, I ignored the concerned glances and comments from the house staff and stomped right up to my room.

I had no idea at first, but I had apparently taken much longer to return home than I would have if I had walked under… normal circumstances. When I entered my room, Kaoru was on our bed, chewing his heart out on his fingernails. When he spotted me, his teary eyes widened and he ran up to me with a tight hug. I didn't even flinch. My heart was so numb, it felt like I didn't even care.

"Oh my gosh!" Kaoru said, holding me. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving, you idiot! I was so worried!" When I didn't say anything, his worry seemed to deepen, but he awkwardly continued. "K… Kyoya said you left saying you didn't feel good. Are you sick? Holy-! You're soaked! You waked here in the _rain_?"

"… It was a light drizzle." I commented, smart-alecky. Kaoru then gave me that cute why-do-you-do-this-to-me? look, and I couldn't help giving in. "I just… needed some time to sort out my thoughts. I pulled away from his embrace-something I didn't _ever_ do- and proceeded to change into my pajamas.

But Kaoru pressed on. "Why? Why did you need to sort out your feelings? You know you can- no, you _do- _talk to me about everything. What gives?" Okay, not only was I getting a headache, but he was just being annoying now. _I wish i could just let everything slip away... I can't take this anymore!_Frustrated, I shoved past Kaoru and headed up stairs more.

_**Well everyone I know has got a reason**_

_**To say: put the past away!**_

_**I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend**_

_**You could**_

_**Cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in**_

_**And if you do not want to see me again**_

_**I would understand**_

_**I would understand**_

"H-Hikaru!" Kaoru ran after me. Determined he came up behind me and grabbed me by my hand. "Hikaru, I-"

"GET OFF!" I yelled, furious for some reason. I couldn't control myself, and all but picked up Kaoru and threw him away from me. He hit the marble floor-hard- and didn't get up.

There was a few awkward moments before tears began to form in my eyes. _OH MY GOD! K-Kaoru?_ I walked towards him, but one of the maids screams stopped me.

"Master Hikaru!" She screamed, her hands on her mouth. "What have you done?" She ran to Kaoru as he was slowly getting up. Small spots of blood could be seen on the peach floor.

They both looked to me, expectantly, I think, but I couldn't stand it anymore. Tears flowed out of my eyes as I with every ounce of power I had. "I'm so sorry!" With that, I left, running up the stairs, hopping to get to the roof.

**_Well he's on the table and he's gone to code_**

**_and I do not think anyone knows what they're dong here_**

**_Your friends have all left, you've been dismissed_**

**_I never thought it would come to this and I_**

**_I want you to know_**

**_that everyone has to face down the demons_**

**_Maybe today you can put he past away_**

I stood there, in the rain, holding onto the side of the mansion. My Mother, Kaoru, and pretty much all of the servants were standing bleow me; three stories down. I figured... that would be high enough to kill.

Kaoru was crying, laying on a portable bed with his head bandaged. He kept looking at me, begging to me with our twin telepathy. _WHY? _He kept saying. _Don't do it! Please! I love you! Don't leave me! _I was crying, too. But... I couldn't take it. This... it was all too much. Haruhi and these feelings, Kaoru, Tamaki... I just wanted it to end. And there wasn't any other way to make it go away.

I looked down and could see that the rest of the host club had shown up. They all, obviously, looked worried. Even Kyoya. Which _really _meant they were concerned.

But that wouldn't stop me. _They don't care! No one cares enough..._I moved my hands down the side of the building, getting ready to jump. Furious tears blinded me as I tried to look down to make sure I wouldn't hit anyone. Then, I realized that Kaoru was gone. I sighed sadly. He probablydidn't want to see me like this anymore.

"Hikaru!" I looked next to me to see Kaoru barely standing on the balcony. He was panting, and his face looked weary. "Please don't do it..."

"Why shouldn't I?" I screamed. "I've nothing else to live for!"

"I can't believe you'd say that..." He whispered. "...You have me."

Something inside me snapped together, and I realized he was right. "But, you want _Haruhi,_" I said looking him in the eyes.

"That may be ture... but that doesn't mean I'd _leave_ you! Like how _you're _trying to leave _me _right now! I love you, you're my twin brother... how couldn't I?" He reached out his hand and smiled at me, pleading acceptance.

_**I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend.**_

**_You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in_**

**_And if you do not want to see me again,_**

**_I would understand._**

**_I would understand._**

I shuddered as I took his hand, but smiled.


End file.
